They’re adaptable to our family reality, without pressure. Think of them a bit like a parenting toolkit!
7 principles
to guide us
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1. MEETING OUR CHILDREN’S NEEDS
Our children need to feel protected, loved, and valued. They also rely on us for basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter, as well as stimulation and stability. Above all, they need a sense of security to grow, learn, and thrive.
This sense of security is at the heart of the bond between a child and his or her family. We nurture this bond with our child in many ways: through daily guidance, quality physical and emotional presence, and attentiveness to the needs they express.
To do this, we need to be mentally and physically present. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life—between meals, work, school, and activities—it’s not always easy! But even small moments of attention can make a big difference.
Making time for each child
In families with multiple children, a parent’s role is to listen to each child’s needs and find ways to give them all time and attention.
The goal is to be fair and equitable. Equity in a family means treating each person according to his or her needs. This means that things won’t necessarily be equal, because each child’s needs may be different. For example, Alice may need constant help with homework, so her parent sits with her at the table. Her brother Louis, being more independent, does his homework by himself.
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2. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
Having children means taking on responsibilities, some of which are defined by law. We must:
- meet their needs
- look after their safety and health
- protect them physically and psychologically
- supervise them
- educate them and build their autonomy
- care for them
Another of our responsibilities is to respect and team up with the professionals who work in our child’s various environments. Whether it’s at daycare, school, camp, or sports activities, viewing these individuals as allies strengthens our parenting efforts.
Passing on our values
Beyond meeting our children’s basic needs, we also pass on to them the values, beliefs, and norms that matter to us and the society in which we live.
This transmission happens naturally, as we go about our daily lives, at family meals, during celebrations, through the stories we tell, or even in the way we interact with others. Values help children understand who they are, where they come from and where they’re going, along with developing their identity. This is an essential part of living well with others.
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3. STRIKING A BALANCE BETWEEN NURTURE AND STRUCTURE
Parenting is a delicate balancing act. We create an environment that is both loving and structured, with clear and concrete boundaries.
Rules, when explained and applied consistenly by parents, become reassuring points of reference. For example, a bedtime routine offers calm and comfort and promotes better sleep.
Structure helps children understand the world around them.
Encouraging their autonomy
When appropriate, letting children experiment on their own, while being there for them when they make mistakes or fail, is a powerful way to help them:
- build confidence and independence
- tolerate discomfort and persevere
- develop strategies for handling difficulties
- understand that this is how we learn, and that making mistakes isn’t the end of the world!
Teaching consequences
Educating and guiding our children helps them learn to respect limits and understand the consequences of their actions. It’s also an opportunity to develop important skills such as responsibility and good judgment. Later on, we can teach them self-control and how to better regulate their emotions. A valuable lesson!
Parent or friend?
A parent’s role is to guide and support. They aren’t their child’s equal or their friend.
Sure, in a family, there’s room for fun and bonding between parent and child—but there are also rules and expected behaviours! It’s the parent who manages this framework, with love and respect.
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4. COMMUNICATING MEANS SPEAKING AND LISTENING
Good communication is essential in a family setting. What does it mean? Giving children space to express themselves, asking them questions, and really listening to them with attention and openness.
The quality of exchanges between parents and with their children directly affects the family atmosphere. When children feel listened to, they learn to listen too. A chat at mealtimes or a relaxed conversation on the way home from school can become precious rituals.
Two-way communication creates a climate of trust where every member of the family feels more comfortable expressing their joys, troubles, fears, and hopes. This can help the whole family, including parent-child and brother-sister relationships.
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5. BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL
Children learn by watching the people around them—especially their parents! Our daily actions and words, even the simplest ones, have an impact on our children. Small, authentic gestures often have a greater impact than big lessons!
We don’t have to be perfect (it’s impossible anyway!) to provide our children with the right guidance. On the contrary, when we do things with sincerity, our mistakes become learning opportunities for ourselves and for our children.
For example, when we apologize after making a mistake, we show our children how to build relationships, understand the other person’s point of view, and put themselves in the other’s shoes (empathy). When we react calmly to disagreements, we teach our children to remain respectful and to regulate their emotions.
Drawing inspiration from our children
Over time, one of the nice surprises of parenthood is how our children can inspire us in return. They develop their own way of thinking, of looking at things, and of bouncing back from challenges, which can sometimes give us a new perspective on things.
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6. BUILDING AND NURTURING A SUPPORT NETWORK
Isolation can be a heavy burden, especially when we’re facing challenges and stress. And every parent goes through it!
Building a support network—whether through neighbours, coworkers, or other families—is important. It doesn’t have to be a big circle: having one or two people you trust can make all the difference.
Building this network happens gradually, as you meet and share with others. Participating in neighborhood activities, going to the park, or getting involved in daycare or school life helps create natural links with other families. These connections enrich our daily lives and those of our children, while providing support when we need it.
The Resources section contains many useful tools. Here is an information sheet to help us communicate with those around us.
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7. FINDING INFORMATION AND SEEKING HELP
There’s no doubt about it: being a parent is demanding! It’s impossible to know everything and do everything on our own.
The first step is, of course, to get informed and find the tools we need: there are plenty of useful, free resources to support us in this adventure. For example, reading a book, taking part in a workshop, or talking to other parents can give us fresh perspectives.
And if these resources aren’t enough, we shouldn’t hesitate to identify help and support services… and use them. Acknowledging our limits and seeking help is perfectly normal!
Meeting your child’s needs includes fulfilling their wants.
Needs are essential for development, while wants are secondary and can wait.
